My Life My Blog Time: March 2013

Just a reminder ;-)

1. Agree upon trusting one another. Once you have taken your vows, always remember don't do anything to break that trust, you have both taken vows to be faithful in every way. Now it's time to believe in one another and trust your partner. Suspicion, and doubt don't cause a spouse to cheat, but if one spouse exhibits high degrees of any of these to their spouse, it spells trouble for the relationship. Set reasonable boundaries and stay within them - this fosters trust, and the longer you each stay within the boundaries you have agreed on, the more "trust" you will build as time goes on.

2. Accept the fact that you are no longer single. No, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle. You have a responsibility to your spouse or partner now, and the sooner you accept it, the fewer fights and arguments you'll have. Acting as if you are free and accountable to no one will pretty much ensure that you will be single again - soon. Instead, keep in mind your love for your spouse and the love your spouse has for you, your commitment and your vows. Examples:

* If you agree upon something do exactly that. Don't change it.
* If it rubs you the wrong way you must learn you must sacrifice some things, you must remember this helps your spouse to keep the trust she or he may have in you.

3. Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash. It's simply a matter of honoring your commitment. Don't go against your spouse your spouse is really truely the only one that really cares. If you didn't want to be cared about or be responsible to someone else, you should not have gotten married.

4. Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any. Doing things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea. The problem is that it creates a climate of doubts of your honesty, anxiety and turbulence. Don't pick fights just to see what she/he'll say or do.

5. Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing. If you meet with someone who tries to come on to you, don't panic, show no interest, tell them you're not interested, you're very happy and content with your spouse,and that he/she fills all your needs. Don't get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of lust is near. Don't be alone with this person, and don't go out of your way to see him or her.

6. Take your spouse with you. If you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid this person, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line, and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.

7. Tell the other person you are not interested, period. Don't give a half-hearted "Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married" response. This sends a wrong message - it says, "If only my stupid spouse weren't in the way, then you and I could hook up." Anyone who knows you're married and persists in coming on to you will not hesitate to run over your spouse if she/he thinks you're at all interested. What matters is that you are married, and your commitment is to your partner or spouse. Put your foot down hard and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope. People who try to do this knowing the other person is married are very unhappy people and they don't care to see anyone else happy. Ask yourself this question: "Why don't they have someone in their life?" Probably because they are not good enough to have someone and cannot be faithful, since they are trying to connect with you even though they know you are married.

8. Leave the situation. It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the stops on this person's interest in you, and worse yet, if you return those feelings, you have to leave the situation immediately. Either request a transfer or request that the other person be transferred, because it's endangering your marriage. Don't moan and complain - remember, your goal is that 40th wedding anniversary, and beyond. No job, no chick or dude, no amount of ego boosting is worth destroying your chance at that. Remember: a few moments of pleasure are not worth a lifetime of happiness with that someone special.

For Men :-)

I want to give men some advice, because I love men and I'm hoping they are reading my blog as well as women. The biggest pet peeve I have with men is their shoes. I must seem like some kind of shoe nut, but I want to beg men NOT to wear mandals with socks, ANY socks. If you have to wear these things, please don't wear socks. If they hurt your feet when you don't wear socks, then wear sneakers or some other type of shoes. They look ridiculous and to be honest, I would rather not see men's feet at all. I don't know if there are other people out there that feel this way, but men don't get pedicures, and they don't pay enough attention to any detail that is required to have their feet exposed. If you wear a mandal, take care of your feet and DON'T wear socks! Below is a site you can buy some decent shoes. There ARE mandals on the site, but for pete sakes DON'T wear socks with them!!!!